Chinese women have had to fight for their rights to equality, and that battle doesn’t seem to be over yet. Historically the role of women in China has been one of obedience and servitude.
They were made to adhere to strict beauty standards that were sometimes outright cruel. One of these infamous practices was foot binding. During much of Chinese history young women were made to bind their feet very early in their life so as to stop them from growing “too long” or “too wide”.
While many men thought the result to be more attractive, binding caused physical weakness in women. Also, they were forced to support themselves when walking. This made them both physically and symbolically dependent on their husbands.
The Changing Role of Women in China
“Women Hold Up Half the Sky”
The role of women in China started to change during the Cultural Revolution. It was Mao Tze Dong who proclaimed that “women hold up half the sky” and with their potential, they should be encouraged to work. Since they gained the right to education and work, women have managed to narrow the gender inequality gap significantly.
However, the role of women in China is still limited. They still face the challenges of getting equal pay, social pressure to marry and become mothers of exactly two children, balance life while trying to advance professionally.
Those that fall outside of social expectations, deviate from the norm, or distinguish themselves in any significant way are often grouped, categorized, and labeled. Here are just some of the groups that women are placed into in modern Chinese society.
The Role of Women In Modern China
The Leftover Women (剩女,shèngnǚ)
In most of the countries, the decision when to get married, or even get married are subjective. In Chinese culture, however, women are expected to get married before age 30 or face social stigma. If a woman is still single at the age of 27, society labels them “the leftover woman”.
Women in China pursue higher education and have a strong tendency to advance professionally and achieve their own financial independence. While they seem to have a bright future, the downside of it is the more competent they are, the more difficult it is to find a suitable partner. Their male counterparts often hope to have a stay at home wife who will take care of the family.
As a woman approaches the age of 30, her parents try to take it upon themselves to be her matchmakers. In the People’s Park of Shanghai, there is a special corner known as “The Marriage Market”. Parents go there to meet other parents and hopefully arrange a date for their unmarried children.
Most of the children dislike this unsolicited favor from their parents, but are often too polite to decline any date that results from it. Furthermore once labeled “leftover”, they usually don’t feel they have too much choice.
The Role of Women In China Explored Through Comics
In the Mort Comic the problem of “Leftover women” is explored through a character named “Chang LeLe”. Ironically this name stands for someone who is always happy. She is a typical representative of a modern young Chinese woman. Her life has been painted by yet another issue in China – the one-child policy (now two-child policy). These troubled generations grew up without brothers and sisters. As a result, their parents invested their finances and put all their expectations for life on their single child, expecting the child to take care of them when they grew old.
Chang LeLe was forced to study very hard from an early age. She was the best student in her very large city. She graduated from Harvard Business School, a school that was chosen for her. While at Harvard she lived with her aunt and wasn’t allowed to date. When she returned to China, she took a job at her father’s mining company. She did everything that was expected of her, but none of it was her choice. Now the only thing missing in her life according to her parents was a spouse. When he meets her in the comic her parents have already set her up on a date with a businessman, hoping that she will finally get married and have children.
The Career Woman or “Strong Woman” (女强人 nǚqiángrén )
The concept of 女强人 (nǚqiángrén) might have originated from the HKTV soap opera “The Family Saga” in 1977, where the woman in the leading role takes over her father’s business and manages to turn it into a successful empire. These type of women disrupt the established gender roles of Chinese society and blur the line between the feminine and the masculine.
Government statistics show that 55% of the people who set up internet companies are women, and one-quarter of all entrepreneurs in China are female. Impressively, Alibaba’s executive team consists of 34% women, and the company itself boasts that 40% of all employees are female. Female leadership in Alibaba is well higher than in the company’s foreign counterparts like Amazon. This kind of Chinese women are the ones said to “hold up half the skies”. Also, they have contributed greatly to closing the gender gap.
In our comic book, the concept of 女强人 is represented through the character “White Snake” 白蛇. Traditionally a romantic character from Chinese folklore, in our story she has set love aside in favor of her successful PR agency in Beijing. She is a highly educated woman who decided to get divorced in order to pursue her career.
White Snake is a woman who is ambitious and unafraid to compete in a male-dominated world; though she puts her career before family life in order to succeed.
“Manly Women” (女汉子 nǚ hàn zi )
Traditionally, the role of women in China was one of a housewife. Most Chinese women were stay at home mums, gentle, and submissive to their breadwinner husband (or so the story goes). After the one-child policy was introduced, the role of women in China began to change. Being the only child made many parents treat their girls as empresses. Though the burden of being the only child and having to take care of both themselves and parents produced a generation of capable, independent women able to meet this challenge without a man’s help.
The term “Manly Women” that describes these ladies has become a covert way to express feminism. Being an overt feminist and activist in China would make it impossible for women to escape the government’s radar. The punishments are often are harsh, so it is best to use this understated term.
Such is the case of Bella the fox fairy in the Mort Comic. By simply being able to do everything men do (often better too!), and unapologetically following her passions, Bella provides a shining example of this societal trope.
The Chinese Dama (大妈)
When talking about the role of women in China, the picture would be incomplete without mentioning the “Chinese Dama” or “The Big Mom”.
Damas are usually ladies in their fifties. Some are retired, some are close to retirement, but all are infamous for forming large dance groups and dancing in public areas such as parks and squares. Generally, they do so to socialize, keep healthy, or participate out of nostalgia for the “old days” since most of the groups do folk dances.
To the general public, they are known as the “dancing grannies”. Most people consider them troublemakers since their large dance groups frequently block walkways and make a lot of noise.
Before 2013, little did everyone know that Damas were serious about other things aside from square dancing, namely investing in things like gold or even bitcoin. Perhaps it should have been expected though since the role of women in China is to manage household finances.
In April 2013 when the price of gold started to plummet, Damas united in an effort to save gold by buying almost 300 tons of it in 10 days. Their buying frenzy kept the price of the gold stable. It was a miracle for the economy that even halted Goldman Sachs from short-selling their shares. This event keyed the global economic stage to the sizable financial powers of the Chinese Dama.
Damas represent a great and very lucrative niche in the Chinese market. Therefore many companies come up with products specifically tailored for them and their habitual square dancing, such as Wi-Fi radios and various dance equipment.
There comes a moment in every expat’s journey when the fun and excitement of living abroad finally wears off and reality kicks in. Realizing that the honeymoon phase is over, the task of daily life abroad can become a vexing and lonely experience. It is generally at this point thatone begins to take note of all the little things that make them uncomfortable in their host country. One may even begin to take stock of all the comforts of their home country that they’re beginning to miss. Follow this rabbit hole long enough and you’re liable to find yourself on the slippery, spiraling tunnel that leads straight into the bowels of a pit called expat depression. Congratulations traveler, you’ve caught the expat blues.
Depression comes for everyone at some point in their lives. Though if you’ve never experienced anything like it and you’re over 25, I’m sure there’s no shortage of neurologists that would love to study your brain if you’ll allow them. Thankfully, the expat variety of depression can be approached very similarly to any other form of non-clinical depression. Here are some of the things you can do should you find yourself in a state of despair and ennui brought on from your time abroad.
Tips For Dealing With Expat Depression
Acknowledge, Accept and Forgive
Before you can even begin to remedy the sadness you may be feeling it is crucial to accept and forgive yourself. Depression and sadness are common and natural human emotions. Step one to dealing with them acknowledging your emotions and giving yourself permission to feel them. First, accept that the emotion is there and that it is okay for you to feel it. Instead of telling yourself that you’re living your dream, or that you have no acceptable reason for feeling this way, forgive yourself and allow the emotion to happen. Sometimes you don’t need a reason, sometimes you just feel a certain way, and that is okay.
Set a Deadline
Allowing yourself to feel morose is all well and good, but we all know that we have to go back to being productive members of society at some point. Give yourself a timeline. If it helps you can think of your current state like any viral illness. You are sick now. Though you will get better, and at some point, you need to re-join the herd as it were.
Perhaps you only need a few hours to let yourself experience the emotion, or perhaps you need a few days. Whatever the case may be you need to let yourself experience the feelings. Though you have to be able to tell yourself that you’re not allowed to wallow in self-pity and sadness forever.
Assess Your Predicament
After you wake up from a night-long Hagen Das bender surrounded by the empty ice cream cartons and discarded tissues from the crying session brought on by re-watching Pixar’s “Up” (you know the scene…), it’s time to take stock of what brought you to this emotional valley in the first place.
At this point you may find it helpful to begin writing things down. Make a chart of what your life was in your home country, what your life is now that you’re living abroad, and what you’d like your life to be. Consider every aspect of your life: Social, Occupational, Financial, Spiritual, Romantic, Sexual, Dietary, etc. Once you’ve got that list written it out it should be fairly easy to see which aspects of your life have made the most improvement and which elements have taken the biggest hit.
Address the Problem Areas
If things have been going otherwise well for you in your host country and you’re still feeling this way, the expat depression you are experiencing is most likely some variation of homesickness. In which case, it may be time to reintroduce elements of home back into your life. Whatever your Assessment List showed you that you’re lacking, find healthy ways to at least partly fill those gaps.
This is can take the form of decorations around the house, music choice, setting up a shrine or prayer space, investing some serious money into one of your old hobbies (trust me it’s worth it), or just keeping food from home stocked around the house. As I once read on another expat blogger’s site, “Never underestimate the power of peanut butter.” Should you find yourself living in a major city most of these shouldn’t be an issue in this day and age.
The demand for import goods is usually pretty steady in these places. Those that may have some problems are those living in remote or rural areas, and those that moved to the United States (I’m sorry Americans, I’ll never forgive you for your lack of Flake Bars, Jaffa Cakes, Jelly Babies, or Kinder Eggs). Regardless, even if you are in a less than accommodating location there should be ways to get your hands on some of the creature comforts you’re missing.
Build Your Support Network
As obnoxious as I personally find the song in question, I have to concede that Bill Withers did make a valid point we he asserted that “We all need somebody to lean on.” Expat or not, the cliché that no man is an island holds true; it’s important to have a network of people that you can rely on and share your life with.
Just as important, and often overlooked in its value is being part of that network for others. When you’re an expat, building this network can be a tall order depending on where you are. One possible complication may be that the gap between the cultures of your home and host country is too large for you to easily form meaningful relationships with the locals. This is a particularly common sentiment among occidentals that move to East Asia.
Another possible issue unique to expats that might contribute to expat depression is the “revolving door” aspect of their communities. People always eventually leave in these environments, though the upswing is new people are also coming in as well. Despite the problems that you may have to face, the fact is you’ll only get what you put in. So go out and be social, talk to strangers, be friendly, and make friends. Eventually, you WILL find people that you meaningfully connect with. Until then there’s always the internet.
Don’t Forget to Call Mum
Unless your family is a group of wholly toxic individuals you left your country to get away from, you should have at least some relative that you can approach to help you sort through what you’re feeling. While in the past long-distance calls were an expensive hassle, we’re fortunate enough today that a stable internet connection and telephony program like Skype or Viber are all that is required to get in touch with almost anyone on the globe. Also, they probably miss you and would be happy to hear from you.
It’s Okay to Hide
At some point you might just feel exhausted or burnt out from all the excitement of living in a new country. In which case, it’s alright to hide for a bit. Play a game, read a book, binge watch a series, or engage in whatever form of escapism appeals to you. Despite what some may say, it is healthy so long as you don’t let it get in the way of responsibility or life goals.
Set a Goal
If you’re more achievement-driven than introverted escapist (and even if you are an introverted escapist), set some kind of goal for yourself to help you overcome the feeling of expat depression. There’s nothing that says it has to be big or lofty, nor does is it required to be a massive undertaking that will set you down a path to success for the rest of your life. Something meant to improve your life is just enough. If you’re feeling depressed you probably don’t need a complicated goal right now anyway, just something simple and achievable that may only take you a month or so to accomplish.
How to Cope With Expat Depression
Depression and melancholy are as stated before, natural emotions. That said, natural emotions should only take so long to process. Our brains are actually only meant to feel any given emotion for about 90 seconds. That’s it. Anything after that is usually a product of rumination, which means we dwell on the thoughts surrounding that emotion and allow it to perpetuate. It’s that rumination that draws most people into depression.
If you can recognize the things you are ruminating over, it may be possible for you to break the cycle all by yourself and begin to climb out of the despair you’ve been feeling. Remember, expat depression has a snowball effect, so it is extremely important to take action quickly.
If you feel you’re not quite ready to see a professional, you may find some other helpful ways to cope in this post.
However, if you find yourself unable to do so and the emotions persist for several weeks, you may have stumbled your way into clinical depression. Before you go hitting the internet and trying to diagnose yourself, consider consulting a professional first. There are many criteria for any given mental illness and only a trained professional is qualified to assess your condition.
Thankfully for expats there are many online mental health consultation services available and some professionals are even willing to work on a sliding payment scale if you are concerned about expenses. Just like any other sickness, if you are feeling the symptoms of depression for a long period of time, you should see a doctor. Don’t deny yourself the help you deserve.
A Final Word
Depression can happen to anyone, but because expats bravely plunge themselves into foreign cultures, they also stand a better chance of isolating themselves in that culture. If you have begun to feel the expat depression after having lived abroad for a while, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotion as it comes, assess your situation, and when you’re ready, reach out to someone. In all likelihood, the pluck and bravery that set you on your journey abroad will be the same pluck and bravery that allows you to set your negative feelings aside and step back into a healthy, happy life.
Almost a year ago my husband and I began to work on another brand. It’s called “The Amygdalab” and it was conceived out of our love for science, history, and literature. When we started working on the idea our hope was to create a series of fun conversation pieces that were clever nods to the joy of learning. Another frustration we were trying to address was finding gifts for book lovers in our families as well as friends who are avid readers. Buying them gift cards for book stores every year for Christmas became boring and we wanted to make something we could surprise them with. Our first attempt at realizing this vision is a fun set of literary-themed coasters.
Anyone who has spent some time in British pubs will know that it’s not uncommon for each establishment to have its own unique coasters. My husband loves things like this and set out to envision what kinds of pubs and bars might be found in some of our favorite works of classic literature. After some time we came up with a long list of ideas and decided on four of them to have made first.
So is there a perfect literary gift for English majors, or a gift for geeks and nerds they will truly appreciate?
It was a tough decision but we felt that our first set of literary themed coasters should show some range in both genre and design. After all, this was to be our first attempt at a product for the brand and we couldn’t be sure if there would be a second. We ultimately settled on the designs for Moby Dick, The Jungle Book, The Odyssey, and Alice in Wonderland and came up with a signature cocktail for each.
Moby Dick
For Moby Dick we imagined that after the incident on the Pequod, Ishmael returned to Nantucket to set up his own tavern on the docks. There he could stay safely on land while he recounted his tragic tale to any whaler that would listen, all while serving up the tavern’s signature cocktail “The White Whale”. At Ishmael’s Seaside Tavern anyone can down a White Whale, so long as their happy with it being a modified take on a Gimlet.
The Jungle Book
While most people associate Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book with the story of Mowgli, the boy raised by wolves, it actually contains a number of other short stories filled with other interesting characters. Our favourite was always Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, the story of a pet mongoose that saves his adoptive family from cobras. As a nod to this lovable hero and tropical region he hails from, we figured nothing would be more suitable than Rikki “Tiki” Tavi’s, a Tiki bar that serves up fruity India inspired spiced cocktails like the Mango Mongoose.
The Odyssey
Perhaps no story in Western Literature is more iconic than The Odyssey. With all the places that Odysseus was made to visit, our choices for inspiration were numerous. However, only one location stood out to us as the perfect place for a cleverly named pub. Famous for their pork dishes, Circe’s Bar and Grill is place where you could literally “Come in, and pig out.” We call their signature drink, the Holy Moly after the plant that supposedly saved Odysseus from Circe’s enchantment. It is a creamy desert cocktail with hints of honey, orange, and cinnamon that pulls inspiration from rozoli, a similarly flavoured liqueur from Odysseus home in Ionia.
Alice In Wonderland
Finally, there’s The Rabbit Hole; a place we always like to make our first stop when we find ourselves heading in to Wonderland. Their bright red signature drink The Queen of Hearts is a raspberry lover’s dream. Just be careful, too many and you’ll lose your head.
We went through a lot of effort coordinating with a factory in China to produce this set of bookish coasters for drinks, but it paid off and we’re happy with the results. Our manufacturer was able to create a set of colorful, cork-backed, ceramic that has clear, vibrant printing without sacrificing absorbency.
Measuring 3.9” (10cm) in diameter, the coasters are large enough to be used as beverage coasters, cup coasters, beer mats, glass coasters, coffee table placemats or to keep wine glasses. Easy to clean with just a rinse or a detergent wash. The coaster designs are vibrant and the stone top and cork bottom lining make them ideal for all places.
They’ve gotten a lot of comments from our guests when we leave them out, and been the impetus for many fun and stimulating conversations. Featuring the great literature classics, these are the best gifts for book lovers. Also they are a great conversation piece put out when you have your friends & family over. Since they are super absorbent, there’s the added benefit of no stains on our table while the conversations carry on.
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For the moment we’ve made our literary themed coasters for drinks available on Amazon.com to see what reception they get. If things go well, we hope to release other sets of coasters as well as other intellectually stimulating oddities. We like to think they’re gifts for book lovers. Should you decide to get a set for a friend or yourself, we’d love to get your feedback!
As an expat in China, one of the most interesting things about living abroad has been interacting with Chinese people and trying to understand Chinese culture.
While it might be easy to say that Italians like coffee and pasta, the French always kiss on the cheek when greeting each other, and Americans eat fast food in their cars, we can’t really say anymore that the Chinese drink green tea.
That’s because the generation gap in China between each generation is simply too wide. So to say the Chinese like drinking tea would be true for some generations, but maybe not for the young. They prefer to drink coffee instead.
Expats in China face additional pressures compared to expats in many other countries. Not only do the nuances of Chinese culture make cultural differences much more extreme, but when dealing with locals we also have to understand how they apply across generations.
Why Traditional Chinese Culture in China Varies Across Generations
Like every society, China is a complex place with a wide variety of individuals. The Chinese have come to group some of the more colorful members of their society under umbrella terms. There are a considerable number of these groups, which one can easily attribute to the tumultuous recent history of the Chinese nation.
China’s modern history is one of rapid and dramatic economic and social changes that were brought on quickly when the floodgates were opened in the late 60s, early 70s. At this point in time China opened up economically and saw a nearly “overnight” change in their economic situation.
The result of this is that the generational gaps in China are strongly pronounced across decades. Each decade has given rise to a number of interesting and memorable groups of people that are unique to the Chinese social landscape.
Chinese Culture and Life In Modern China as a Foreigner
One thing that makes living in modern China a unique experience for foreigners is that there are at least 5 generations trying to coexist. Each of them holds radically different beliefs and values. This has brought about to the existence of very unique personas in Chinese modern society. The netizens have labeled each with specific internet slang, which has been adopted in everyday life.
While the generations that were growing up during the Cultural Revolution period tend to value collectivism and family happiness, the Millennials have a tendency towards individualism and materialism.
Having spent over a decade in this country, I’ve seen many of these phenomena caused by different generational values. I remain fascinated by them to this day. This gets that more exciting when seen from the eyes of a foreigner, who might not be aware of the origins for these behaviors. The culmination of the story happens when we as foreigners come to criticize or even try to make changes in this culture.
Mort In China: The Expat Who Tried To Change Chinese Culture
Listening to many stories of our expats friends, we came with the idea to create a Chinese comic. We named it “Mort In China”. It follows the misadventures of Mort, a Grim Reaper working for the US-based “Final Destinations”, an afterlife travel agency. Mort got an opportunity to relocate to China for work. His mission was to fix productivity issues in the China branch.
In this post I will use some of the characters and situations from the Mort comic to illustrate what living in modern China on an everyday basis looks like.
10 Types of People You’d Only Meet in Modern China
“The Old Foxes”老油条 (lǎo yóu tiáo)
Yóu tiáo are Chinese fried bread sticks (a very delicious traditional Chinese breakfast). While “lǎo” means old, calling someone “lǎo yóu tiáo” in Chinese is equivalent to calling someone an “old fox” in English. This is that person in the office that’s been there for ages and knows the tricks to get their way without hard work.
In the Mort comic, this concept is represented through two Chinese reapers called “Black and White” (黑白无常). They always appear together. They are the employees that have worked in the company for the longest time.
As such they enjoy the benefits of the “iron rice bowl”. In Chinese “ 铁饭碗” (tiě fàn wǎn) was typical for the state-owned companies in the past, which means they had guaranteed job security, income, and welfare. Moreover, they were often getting paid even if they didn’t work. Also, they couldn’t lose their jobs easily, which led to inefficiency and corruption.
Black and White are the Top Reapers in the China Office. It’s not that they’re actually good at their job, its just that they have the best relationship with their boss, Yan Wang.
They know how to keep the boss happy, which is very important in Chinese culture.
In fact they frequently neglect their duties in order to go out for dinner or KTV. Even still, they are very wary of anyone that might threaten their positions at work.
Since Mort comes to China in order to increase efficiency, they have to keep pulling tricks in order to maintain the status quo. This makes them a recurring source of humor in the comic.
The Loser 屌丝 (diǎosī) or 宅男 (zháinán)
According to popular Chinese internet slang, “diǎosī” means Loser. It’s used to describe the jaded young generations, particularly those that have neither social status or wealth and connections. They feel left behind in the fast development of the Chinese economy. The polar opposite of “diǎosī” is “gāofùshuài” 高富帅 (tall, rich, and handsome) for men; “báifùměi” 白富美 (pale, rich, and beautiful) for women (white to pale skin is coveted in Chinese culture).
Diǎosī is also a self-mockery term used in a more positive sense by people who at least feel a bit optimistic about getting somewhere in the future.
In the Mort comic Zao Shen, or just “Zao”, is Mort’s flatmate in China. Mort wasn’t expecting to have a roommate, he just kind of came with the apartment. That’s because Zao Shen was the ‘kitchen god’ assigned to the family that used to live in the apartment. When the family decided to move, they left him behind, and he has been living in the apartment ever since.
Zao is incredibly lazy and very, very messy. Since his family left, he has had no job and no purpose. Mort thinks he is lazy, but Zao argues that he is the master of the Daoist concept of 无为. (wú wéi)
He tends to practice the concept 无为 (wú wéi) that originates from Taoism and appears in Confucianism and means gaining control over human affairs by genuine non-action.
Zao was modeled after Jeff Bridges’ character in “The Big Lebowski”. Zao stays at home and spends most of his time watching TV, playing games, and ordering in pizza. Though he is the “diǎosī” character, his personality closely borders with “zháinán” another popular internet buzzword in China. This term also applies to the young generations; particularly the nerds, who like Zao lock themselves at home watching TV series, reading comics, and playing games. While “zháinán” implies male, this term also goes for females who spend most of their time at home. They are called “zháinü”.
The Tacky New Rich 土豪 (tǔháo)
In Chinese the term tǔháo means tǔ (土) soil and háo (豪) splendor. This is the counterpart to nouveau riche in the west.
Over the past few decades, China has rapidly advanced its economic status. In this process, many people who were once poor seized opportunity and made themselves very rich in a short time. As money no longer was a problem for these people, they wanted to show the outside world that their social status has changed.
Though they obtained riches quickly, they often lack the manners and sophistication that are often associated with the wealthy. They resort to buying luxury brands, which they think bridges the gap.
It is easy to spot them because they always drive expensive cars.
The way they dress and “decorate” themselves with luxury “ornaments” simply looks garish. It accentuates their lack of taste even further.
As such, these people have become the object of many people’s mockery. The internet slang “tǔháo” has been adopted in everyday life, as it was a funny way to mock these people.
Apple took advantage of this popular internet slang to boost their sales. When the company released their iPhone 5s series, they named the gold version “tǔháo gold” tǔháo jin (土豪金); so that they can target this specific group of customers.
The Second Rich Generation 富二代 (fù’èrdài)
Then the “tǔháo” begun to have kids. As one would expect, their kids kept spending their parents’ money in order to show off their “tǔháo” status. In doing so they earned a name for themselves as being the 富二代 (fù’èrdài) the second rich generation (born in the 80s) since there were no rich people in China before the Cultural revolution.
Generally speaking these are both considered derogatory terms; tǔháo are rich but uncultured, while fù’èrdài are rich but incapable since everything they have they owe to their parents.
A young fù’èrdài makes an appearance in the Mort comic. It is someone who died in a car crash and his soul is therefore to be collected by Mort. However, the young fù’èrdài can’t accept his death and instead offers cash trying to bribe Mort. He adds that this has happened many times in the past; but he is still alive thanks to bribing the Chinese grim reapers “Black and White”.
Mort, of course, didn’t buy into it. Then the young fù’èrdài tried to convince him by asking if Mort knew “who his father was”. This is how the son of a government official named “Li Gang” once tried to get away with when he got pulled over by the cops for speeding.
The Practice of The Elderly Con Artists 碰瓷 (pèngcí)
According to Wikipedia “Pèngcí (碰瓷 lit. touching or bumping porcelan) is the practice of crooks placing ostensibly expensive, fragile items (usually porcelain) in places where they may easily be knocked over, allowing them to collect damages when the items are damaged.”
Pèngcí is a special phenomenon that only exists in Chinese culture. One day you are driving and while you are waiting for the green light, suddenly an old man or woman stumbles down. When you go out to see what just happened they said it was a traffic accident. You hit them and they are asking you to take them to the hospital and pay for their medical checkup. Otherwise, they threaten to call the police.
The “pèngcí” usually manufacture drama.
They feign injury so they can extort money from drivers. Usually this is done by the elderly in China. The reason for this can be traced back in history. The “pèngcí” are known as “The Lost Generation” of China. During the Cultural Revolution, many of their generation left school to follow the path of Mao’s Long March, work as farmers, and “return China to its communist roots”.
After the Mao era, many of these people were left without formal education. Any job opportunities they had were often minor busy jobs offered by the government, whose budget didn’t allocate enough to see to all of their needs. That’s why they are using whatever way they can to get money, especially when it comes to medical checkups at their age, as they don’t have very comprehensive insurance.
Everyone is aware of this issue, even the police know about it. Drivers usually record videos so they can document the facts and protect themselves from these so-called “insurance scammers.”
Even Mort couldn’t escape them.
The Chinese Dama 大妈 (dàmā)
The Chinese Dama takes a very special place in Chinese culture. They are usually women in their 50s and 60s who have retired or are approaching retirement. The fascinating thing about them is they all have one thing in common – their passion for square dancing. Most dance folk dances, though some have taken to modern dance as well. One group in Beijing puts on a nightly military parade and dance routine.
They gather in large groups, block walkways, and make a lot of noise; which has led the general public to be somewhat annoyed by them. These aren’t just dance groups though. Harnessing the power of collectivism, many pool their money together and invest. The Chinese Dama-s have made themselves known to the whole world as a very influential investment demographic.
Another interesting thing about the Chinese Dama is that they act as public security volunteers in different parts of Beijing. Years ago, Terry Crossman, an expat, applied to join the Damas Rank in Xicheng District of Beijing. Not only is he a full-time Dama in Xicheng now, but he is also the only male Dama in China. With the help of the Damas, he is believed to have forever solved his visa status in China.
Foreigners In China or “The Laowai” 老外 ( lǎowài)
What would this picture of modern life in China be without a juxtaposition? Enter the “lǎowài“. We expats have become yet another iconic character in modern Chinese life.
The term lǎowài is considered a pejorative by some, and foreigners sometimes feel offended by it. It literally means “old outsider”. However, “lǎo” can also have a positive connotation. It indicates respect or familiarity for example 老師lǎoshī ‘teacher’ or 老朋友 lǎopéngyou ‘old friend’)
In the comic, Mort is the foreigner who gets sent by his company to work in China. His character as well as the stories that happen around him are based on the experiences we and our friends have had living here. A typical reaction for many foreigners when dealing with the pitfalls presented by Chinese culture is to get angry at first, and then make an attempt to change the Chinese people and their habits. All this accomplishes however is increasing one’s frustration. We’ve had many a friend fight this losing battle and board the plane back home.
Chinese Culture Lessons Through Comics: Mort In China
Mort made a similar attempt in his story. Eventually, he decided to listen to what his Chinese friends had to say about living in China. Their instruction not only helped him to better understand Chinese culture; but was the key to winning the contest for the “Omega Reaper” position and saving China.
If you would like to know what those lessons were, read about the Mort comic here.
The Post 90s Generation 九零后(jiǔ líng hòu)
People born in the 90s in China are considered a very special generation. Their values radically differ from those of other generations. While previous generations in China strive towards collectivism, those born in the 90s are known for being materialists with strong a sense of individualism.
Since information technology started to flourish in the 90s, they grew up with a knack for the internet and a predilection for digital jobs. They were the second generation in China to grow up as single children, the next wave of “little emperors and empresses”.
While the 80s children are considered a hardworking generation who turned China into an economic superpower, the 90s are often considered layabouts that are supported by their parents. They have become known for being realistic and selfish, with a laissez-faire attitude towards life. Overall they feel quite jaded about the traditional system.
Older generations struggled but found success by banding together as a group. Concepts of individuality had to be set aside, and it took a toll on their own happiness.
Members of the post 90s generation seek opportunities to express their individuality, pursue their dreams, and be happy.
In the Mort comic one of the representatives for the younger generations in Chinese culture is Bella, the fox fairy. She works at the front desk and spends most of her time at work on online shopping. She is a fun character, so full of ideas that they can be hard to keep track of. Friendly and creative, though prone to extremes. In one episode she went as far as to destroy the office when her boss told her she would have to work on Chinese New Year.
The Bureaucrat
Dealing with bureaucracy is no one’s favorite pastime, but dealing with bureaucracy in China can be daunting. What makes bureaucracy in China special is that unlike in the west, the rules aren’t written anywhere. In fact, they are only known to the insiders. When submitting your application for anything, you shouldn’t expect to submit it successfully the first time.
After you get instructed what changes should be made, there is still a chance that next time a different officer will review it and they will find more problems. The best way to prepare is by going to the submission office, and keep trying.
It isn’t realistic to expect success at the first attempt, but rather the 3rd, the 4th.
A lot of bureaucrats love avoiding responsibility. When you approach an officer/clerk the first time, they will almost always try to avoid responsibility by redirecting you to the next available person. This is exactly the reason why people in China do not use personal signatures but official company chops. It puts the company at liability instead of the individual. Getting approval requires a mountain of papers, sealed with the right chop. In China a company gets 5 of them. When you are dealing with banks, it is not only the teller that needs to chop your paperwork, but also their manager.
The good thing though is that in China there is a way around for every rule.
In Chinese Culture a “NO” doesn’t necessarily mean NO.
Establishing a relationship with a relevant person goes a long way when dealing with bureaucracy in China. From my experience, If they see that you are trying to meet their requirements and have established some kind of rapport with them, (especially if you’ve thought of bringing them a gift), then no matter how complicated the matter is, in most cases, it will get done.
While working in China, our comic character Mort was constantly hampered by “Biancheng Wang” the accountant at the China office. Like many bureaucrats, Biancheng Wang is obsessed with paperwork. This includes making sure that everyone else in the office fills out his large stacks of paperwork, stamps them properly, and signs them in triplicate before he can file them away.
Biancheng Wang’s obsession with rules and procedures have not made him very popular in the office. Also, because of his small stature, many of his co-workers refer to him as “Da Bian” (That means poo!).
The Chinese Boss 老板/老大 (lǎobǎn/lǎodà)
While relationships with the boss are very important, China takes it to a whole other level.
When you enter a Chinese boss’s office the first thing you’ll likely notice is that the office probably contains a lot of Chinese culture and Buddhist elements. Usually, you might notice a big Chinese tea set with a small Buddha in the corner, as well as some Chinese paintings or slogans written in calligraphy. This set up is so standard and we used it for the office of Mort’s boss The King Yan (Yan Wang, King of the Dead in Chinese mythology) in the comic.
Chinese bosses prefer to decorate their offices in such a manner because they believe that having Buddhism elements might bring fortune to the business. Especially when combined with elements of Feng Shui 風水(fēngshuǐ), a traditional Chinese practice that revolves around natural energy flow “qi”. It is believed that if the surroundings are positioned in harmony with the energy, it will ensure the good health, fortune, and prosperity of the inhabitants.
Living in a foreign country forces you to leave behind your old habits and reinvent yourself. If you refuse to be shaped by the host country’s culture you are going to have a very challenging time living abroad. On the other hand, if you decide to bend and let the new cultural experience instill new habits in you then a completely new world of opportunities opens. It is the ticket to a new lifestyle.
Before living abroad, my small-town upbringing had left me with the “the frog in the well” mentality. It wasn’t until I first came to the metropolis of Beijing that I began to be aware of the impact that growing up in a small town had on my personality and opinion. It took quite some time to let go of certain habits, but fortunately, I was the type of person that was craving change.
I’ll never forget the day I first flew to China.
New Country New Me
I was going to study abroad for a year at the Beijing Language and Culture University. My friend and soon-to-be roommate came with several cases of over-sized luggage. It seemed she was intent to take her whole life with her.
I on the other hand came with little more than the bare minimum. Before moving to China, I knew that I was going to be shaped by Chinese culture, not the other way around. As it would turn out, my roommate would have a frustrating time trying to fit Chinese culture into her life. While I on the other hand adapted quickly.
Having spent one-third of my life in Beijingnow, I can say that living abroad has been a life-changing experience. Living in a foreign country has taught me to leave “life in a well mentality” and learn to swim in the ocean with sharks and be OK with it.
Living abroad has taught me that big achievements both in life and work are rarely possible without learning to be flexible and adapting to changes. When living in China, nothing is taken at face value. Everything is negotiable and rules constantly change to meet the growing demands of this economy.
Living in such uncertainty can hardly be bearable to one who comes from a small town where nothing ever changes. However, with time I’ve come to realize that there are benefits to this. You are constantly being pushed to find new innovative ways to approach a problem and become resilient in the process.
Listen More Than You Speak
I come from a culture where people tend to be very direct and outspoken. However, I realized that Chinese people do not resonate well with this style of communication. In China, people communicate indirectly. This has its origins in traditional Chinese culture, which can be daunting to foreigners. They tend to use gestures, tone, and facial expressions when trying to show their opinion.
Also they don’t talk too much about their opinion or themselves, they are very humble indeed. Sometimes they might say “yes” to you even if they don’t agree with you. It took me some time to figure that this is so as not to hurt your feelings.
Though China is becoming very modern, Chinese people’s communication style often isn’t. More often than not, their communication style will call back to Sun Tse’s “The Art of War”.
Lessons and tactics once used for strategy are now applied to social relationships and negotiation.
Also it can cause one to be easily misled. Expecting directness and taking things at face value hides the real picture and puts one at a disadvantage. Doing business successfully in China means being able to listen carefully and extrapolate information through time and observation. Talking too much and trying to dominate a conversation often leads to disaster here.
Living Abroad Will Make You Practical
Living abroad has taught me to become more realistic about life and how to be practical.
While the Chinese government may recognize a handful of religions such as Buddhism and Daoism, there really isn’t an abundance of religious people in China.
Many view the Western concept of God and his ability to bring about success in life through prayer to be naive. Instead, they believe that their fortunes can only be changed through study and hard work. They look to no force other than their own effort for success.
In their drive to succeed they often overlook the small things that they deem irrelevant or inconsequential. This often includes things that many of us would consider to be “good manners”. I used to take it personally whenever people in this culture wouldn’t reply to my messages even when the answer was simply a “no”, or they wouldn’t say “sorry” or “thank you”.
Locals tend to not pay attention to these small things, especially the ones that nothing can be done about. In fact, by not replying, they’ve told you their answer. Deciding to simply move on and not look back strikes me as a cruel and insensitive thing to do. Though in their mind to do so would simply be wasting precious time that can be allocated to more productive things.
Chinese people are the masters of taking practicality to almost humorous levels.
Some go out in their pajamas to buy breakfast without carrying about what others would think. I once watched a Chinese woman giving her face the necessary daily amount of moisture. She did it by applying freshly sliced cucumbers all over her face while driving to work. She didn’t seem to worry about being pulled over by the police. Some would call it courage. Though in many ways, they are a society of “honey badgers” when it comes to practicality.
You Might Become Ambitious
Living in China has a tendency to breed ambition. After a while, you may find yourself with multiple business ideas and the desire to start one. It’s part of the environment in China. Most people here are ambitious and hungry to succeed in life.
This ambition is rooted in China’s past. Because of the tight situation, China was in when they finally opened up their economy most were on an “even playing field”. Everyone stood an equal chance of changing their status through hard work. Most of the families that are wealthy in China now rose up from poverty by working hard and taking advantage of opportunities when they presented themselves.
This climate of economic competition has continued across generations and still drives much of Chinese culture. No matter where they are, they will find a way to earn more money.
When Chinese people go to study abroad, the shelves in their dorm rooms are often filled products ready to ship to customers in China along with their books. This has become a very popular business model in China called “daigou”. It arose out of pure necessity for students to earn some money on the side to support themselves while studying abroad.
Even though I don’t share the same motivations as the people above, the ease of online shopping here has created a similar drive in me to always be earning a little more. I may be using a lot of it for clothes, but the habit has stuck.
Living Abroad Made Me Rethink The Concept of Having Children Early in Life
Throughout my experience of living abroad, I’ve had the chance to communicate with quite a few successful career-driven women and mothers. They have influenced my view on the right age to be having your first child. One of them happened to be my boss.
Contrary to the common belief that children should be had early in life, a lot of the Chinese ladies choose to have kids later, when approaching or in their early forties.
Though some may consider it somewhat risky, I’ve come to see the benefit of this approach for a career-oriented woman. They get to realize their ambitions first, whether that be starting a business or climbing high up the corporate ladder.
Once they have a balanced career and have earned some financial independence, they can devote the necessary time to raising a child. They don’t deal with the problems young career moms face when trying to balance the time between work and raising a child.
Life Doesn’t End At Retirement When You Live Abroad
I’ve shared my admiration with Chinese people and their hard work. Though I’m truly fascinated with how the old and the retired people enjoy their life.
While many western people decide to spend their time at home with families once they retire, the elderly in China treat retirement as a new beginning. A lot of them choose to master a new hobby, learn a language, travel the world, or even start a business.
As an English teacher, I’ve had the privilege to meet a man who just retired and wanted to learn English. His goal was to start traveling the world in a year, now that he had earned enough and had the freedom to do so. Those who don’t speak English tend to travel with their friends as part of a tour group. Depending on their financial situation, they travel as much as 3-5 times a year. These groups travel domestically and internationally, they get to visit so many countries in a year.
The Importance of Exercise for Health
Living abroad has taught me that Chinese people, especially the elderly, are very conscientious about keeping healthy. I didn’t realize how deep it went until I took up swimming. Sitting for long hours had left me with severe back pains so I decided to get a pool membership. For the past 5 years, I’ve been starting my mornings with an early swim every week.
A big reason for my persistence owes to seeing how persistent the elderly I swam with were. I was amazed to see people in their 80s going swimming most of the mornings, and they were spending at least 45 minutes in the pool.
Later we got a coach who willingly started to provide feedback to everyone for free. The old ladies were quick to start working on improving their swimming techniques. I was the one who was the least willing to follow. But seeing that everyone except for me improved, I started to feel ashamed and finally had to join them in the effort to swim better. Now that I’ve seen the improvement, I am very glad I did. But by the time I improved, they’d already been taught how to jump in the pool professionally. I feel they are always ahead of me.
Drink Green Tea
Drinking green tea changed my health habits forever. Not only did it improve my concentration, but it also helped to control weight, improved my immune system, and my skin looked much better.
Chinese people consume green tea in all its varieties on a daily basis and enjoy its benefits long term. Besides the other benefits, the ladies drink it as they believe green tea gives one a fresher, younger look, which is one thing that Chinese ladies never stop pursuing.
Food Varieties Enrich Your Life
The process of reinventing myself while living abroad wouldn’t have been complete without changing my food habits.
When I first tried Chinese food my tastes were very conservative. There were many things I thought I couldn’t tolerate so I only ordered from my list of favorites.
It took some time, but over the years I’ve tried different dishes. I feel my taste in food has improved and my list of favorite dishes keeps getting longer. In fact, I’ve come to realize that tasting different foods makes me really happy and it is one way to enjoy life in its varieties. Knowing how to cook dishes outside your country’s cuisine can make dinners more exciting, and help to raise healthier kids with more diverse palettes.
Take Care of Your Parents
Elderly people hold a special place in Chinese society. In the west parents typically support their children until they are ready to be on their own with little expectation for reciprocation. China however still holds to many of the tenants of Confucianism, which includes the idea of filial piety.
Seeing how the Chinese treat their parents after they leave home has made me rethink how I treat my own parents. For instance, I’ve paid for their trips and not let them spend any of their money. They severely opposed that and threatened to retaliate by paying me back, but I wouldn’t have it.
I was proud to have a chance to “exercise my filial piety” even though it may have come at a time when I didn’t feel incredibly well off myself.
