Moving abroad is certainly not one of the easiest decisions to make in life. The idea of living abroad sounds enticing to many, but no one wants to be in a situation where they thought they arrived in “dreamland” only to find that it’s not what they imagined and soon board the plane back home.
Moving to a foreign country is a risky move, but with a little bit of forethought all that risk can certainly be avoided.
The “Should I Be Moving Abroad” Question
Start by listing the reasons for moving to another country and be as honest with yourself as you can be in the process. Knowing ourselves and our expectations helps to get an idea of what to expect and to minimize the risk of making a bad decision when moving abroad.
Dealing with Change
In my opinion, one of the most important factors to consider before moving abroad is your tolerance for dealing with change and ambiguity.
Moving to a foreign country means leaving a comfort zone. Those that do so commit to changing and adapting their lifestyles, developing new habits, and eschewing old habits.
For example, if you’re used to driving to get everyday errands and shopping done, can you see yourself being comfortable if you couldn’t? In places like China, driving to the nearest grocery can get you stuck in an hour-long traffic jam, and even if you get there in a timely fashion parking is still at a premium. Most people bike or walk everyone and carry all their shopping bags themselves. It’s important to realize that you’re not only leaving your country, you might also be leaving some of your conveniences too.
Can You Stand Loneliness?
You’ve planned this move abroad for so long. You arrive in the country of your dreams, you spend every weekend visiting famous tourist sights, and are so excited to tell your friends and family about it. After that initial “touristy stage” in expat life passes, the struggle to “lay down your roots” and find your new identity begins. This is when the blues start to kick in.
Making friends in a foreign country can take some time. In the meantime are you going to be comfortable without your support network when the going gets tough?
Most expats go through this stage. It’s an uneasy one, but with some effort from your side it can be short lived. That’s why being comfortable with loneliness, starting new hobbies, or reaching out to others and try to make new friends are very important skills when starting a new life in a foreign country.
Moving Abroad and Dealing with Cultural Differences
Every country has cultural differences that you will find to be different from your own. Even if you’re going to the next country over you’re bound to find some fundamental differences. How things get expressed and done in another part of the world may dazzle you, make you uncomfortable, or leave you in a state of abject shock.
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If you’ve never been abroad before, or haven’t been heavily exposed to another culture before deciding to move, it is important to set your attitude before you arrive. If you don’t make the active choice to adapt to your host country, you may find yourself stuck in hopeless efforts to change the locals to your ways. Doing so will only bring about a lot of frustration for yourself and those around you.
Language
Learning a new language can be extremely difficult and time-consuming. In my opinion, the willingness to learn or at least make an attempt at learning your host country’s language is a total game-changer that will radically upgrade your expat lifestyle. Being able to speak a foreign language can help diminish the feeling of being a total outsider. It can be especially rewarding in certain situations such as bargaining in the host language where you end up with much better deals for your buck.
Food
For certain countries, food IS culture. This is especially true in Asian countries which tend to have distinct, heavily spiced, and flavored cuisines that can challenge the western palate. You can choose to avoid the local food and cook at home, but eating foreign food while out or ordering it in will drain your wallet.
As someone who comes from the Balkans, I recognise that our very delicious, meat based cuisine is radically different cuisines such as the Chinese. Many of my friends back home are completely averse to trying Asian cuisine. It took me almost ten years to try certain local dishes, but I feel like a new world of food has opened for me. I am proud to say that during this time of Corona quarantine we’ve been cooking different cuisines every day.
Related Reads:
Chinese Breakfast Foods for People Who Love Variety
Communication
If you come from an assertive culture where you can express your opinion directly, you may find that doing so might not resonate well with people in your host country. Learning to tone down the way we express ourselves by adopting local speaking habits can save a lot of headaches down the road.
Are You Moving Abroad or Looking for an Escape?
Are you thinking of moving abroad because you are really ready for a new adventure in your life or are you just looking for an escape to a country that you imagine as a place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer?
Have you and your partner had some ongoing problems but hope that experiencing a new life in a new country will create a new relationship?
If you are in one of these situations, then you need a reality check, quick!
Moving abroad only magnifies what’s already in us, both the positive and the negative. All these years as expat I’ve witnessed many cases of people who become depressed, some who got divorced, and the root of the cause was they were trying to find an escape to existing problem by moving abroad, which only intensified the problem.
Your Personal Values vs. the Values of the Host Country
Countries, like people, have values. Before deciding on moving abroad it’s a good idea to double-check whether that country’s values match yours. Those cultural values are the values, assumptions, and beliefs that help to shape any given culture. Having prior knowledge and insight into the foundation of the culture itself and the identity of the people is an important factor to consider before moving to another country. It can help or hinder our ability to integrate within society.
As an individual, you can’t change a whole society, but having an understanding of how these value systems influence people’s behavior can help you learn whether you would be a good fit there and help to avoid unnecessary frustrations.
The most common clash of values happens when people from societies that highly value Individualism move to countries whose societies highly value Collectivism. This is the struggle of many western expats in China and the other way around.
While we heavily emphasize the value the “I” and independent thought, when Chinese people express their opinion they often tend to avoid saying the “I”; to which an English teacher would immediately respond by correcting them for omitting the Subject from the sentence structure.
The Concept of Private Space
Another example of what comes from the obvious clash between value systems is the westerners’ value of private space and time over group shared space and group activities in Collective societies. When you take the metro in China for example you are going to struggle with finding private space and keeping a distance from others. Furthermore, spending the extra time on group activities with extended family members in Collectivist societies can be of a real challenge for the mixed couples out there.
In conclusion, while moving to any country is not without its pros and cons, it is important to research well. If the pros outweigh the cons then that’s a sign that you are thinking in the right direction and that moving abroad might be the change you’ve been looking for in your life.
Read Next:
Living In China As a Foreigner: The Pros and Cons
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Which aspect of moving abroad do you find most difficult to deal with?