Many dream of moving to China. Some seek out the experience, others an escape. Being an expat can be a worthwhile experience but it’s important not to fall victim to the ‘grass is greener’ fallacy.

Moving to China comes at the price of “unlearning” the old in order to make room for the new. Flexibility is required in order to make the most of expat life and integrate into a foreign culture.

Prior research and preparation for moving abroad, as well as a person’s ability to remain flexible in the face of cultural differences, will dictate how much one enjoys their experience abroad.

1. You Might Regret Moving to China

Having been an expat in China for 12 years I’ve noticed that you can break most expats into two groups. Those that try to change the culture, and those that try to change themselves. Some cultures can be more jarring than others.

For Westerners, China is one such culture. Most foreigners that move to China either fall in love with it or wind up hating everything about it. Those that fall into the latter group usually try to impose Western values and culture on their new home only to quickly realize that they are fighting a losing battle. When it comes to moving to China I can say from experience that younger expats are generally more flexible. Such was my story. Perhaps I was incredibly naive when I first arrived in China but I loved it. Moving abroad early in adulthood meant that I could arrive in a foreign country with little more than a suitcase and thoughts of new experience and grand adventure. Now that twelve years have passed my perspective has changed.

2. Moving to China Is The Point of No Return

Unsurprisingly, being an expat is a life-changing experience. Whether you hated your experience and moved back after a few months or loved it and spent a decade there, you will never be the same person you were before you arrived.

My own experience has been a life-changing one …

Towards the beginning everything was hard.  I was forced to either let go of my small-town mentality or flounder in a sea of change.

Where I grew up people tend to judge others who deviate from the norm. When you live in a big city like Beijing you get to meet people from everywhere, from all walks of life. Meeting so many different people opened my mind and helped me become more accepting. Being able to step out of my comfort zone also opened the door for opportunities.

Things don’t change much in Macedonia, and when they do it usually happens slowly. By contrast, if I leave Beijing for so much as a week I usually return to find at least one new building or establishment in my neighborhood.

China’s rapid development means numerous opportunities for anyone that can stay flexible and keep up with the uncertainty brought about by constant change.

Places like Beijing are no place for those without ambition or a drive for success. Everyone here vies for a position. Whenever I go back to Macedonia for a while I feel like I’m swimming in a pond. After staying so long in Beijing however, I’ve gotten a taste for swimming in the ocean… with the sharks.

3. It Opens The Door For New Opportunities

When moving abroad you’re bound to find some opportunity. Being a foreigner often means bringing unique skills and perspectives to your host country. If you’re fortunate enough to move to a place undergoing economic development, these opportunities will be more plentiful.

Such was my case when I moved to China.

Since the SARS outbreak in 2003, China’s e-commerce sector has been booming. This period of growth has given rise to many industry giants such as Alibaba, and has created millions of jobs for the country. I was also bitten by the e-business bug. Not long after meeting my husband and I started a small online cartoon studio. Our product pulled directly from our experiences. We created a cartoon expat character named Mort, an expat in China like ourselves.

Unlike ourselves, Mort was a Grim Reaper that worked for an afterlife travel agency. Mort was very well received in China, despite cultural clashes. We were brought on National TV a few times and even gained some support from the Government for our project.

We have since gone on to create other online opportunities for ourselves.

4. Moving to China Will Change Your Values

Perhaps it was China or perhaps it was just me growing up, maybe it was the combination, but my time here has definitely shifted my values. When I arrived I wasn’t very frugal and took every opportunity to travel. At one point I backpacked across the country 45 days straight all by myself.

After some time here however, my values began to shift. I felt the need to own a business. Now my adventures are in business. I spend most of my time working, just like the majority of people in Beijing.

5. The Expat Blues Can Be a Real Struggle

For any expat taking their visa a year a time, it’s not uncommon to eventually fall into the expat blues. Sure everything can be fun at first, you get to meet lots of people, try local food, take a few language lessons, visit all the famous tourist places recommended by whatever app, and even travel from time to time.

You can’t be a tourist forever though and at some point, you’re liable to get homesick. This is particularly typical for expats living in Asia. In most of these countries, you’ll never be considered a local no matter how long you’ve lived there or how well you speak the language.

Chinese is one of those languages that no matter how hard you try, your pronunciation will always give you away. In my case when I get calls from advertisers, they always ask me whether I am from Hong Kong, Xinjiang, or Japan!

It’s not uncommon even in large cities like Beijing to be stared at on the streets, and it’s even more common to hear comments about the “laowai” (foreigner). Outside of major cities, or at tourist spots in major cities one is liable to have locals ask to take a picture with you. That’s if they’re being kind and considerate, others will just snap a few pics without permission.

Getting out of this funk either means getting out of the country, or getting invested.

Set yourself on a mission, reach out to expat communities in your area, or devote yourself to a special relationship. After a while, the feeling should pass and you may find new reasons to stay in the process.

6. At Home You Might Feel Like a Tourist

Remember that part about how you’re going to be forever changed? Once you do make it back home, get ready to feel like a foreigner some more.

Such was my case when I decided to move back home after only a year in China. I began to regret my decision as soon as I got to the airport for my connection back home. What followed was months of depression. Thankfully, I got a second chance and went back to China as soon as I could.

Ever since that first trip back I’ve noticed a growing gap and each time I return I feel more like a tourist.

Many of my friends have had their first or second child by now and we don’t have many chances to meet up when I’m in town. When we do, there’s not much to discuss. Our lives have simply grown too far apart.

It doesn’t help that since moving to China I’ve almost exclusively spoken either Chinese or English. Now, something as simple as going to a bank back home is a hassle. Last time I tried to get some paperwork done back home one of the Albanian workers commented that my level of Macedonian was the same as his. I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

I speak three languages but none of them feels like my mother tongue.

7. Friendship Is (as rare as) Magic

To be fair, it really depends on where you end up.

If the culture of the country you’re moving to has a values system that is similar to the one you’re used to you’re likely to fit right in once you bridge that language gap. On the other hand, if the culture you move to is wildly different from your own you may find yourself struggling.

It’s easy of course to fit in with other expats. Though in most cases, you’ll find yourself victim to the ‘revolving door’ that constantly cycles expats in and out. To further complicate things, these friendships are often predicated on the bond of “I’m a foreigner, you’re a foreigner.”

Expats in China face yet another difficulty.

In Chinese culture, best friends are made from elementary school through university. After that they slowly close the door to new friendships. So all friendships with them tend to be temporary. It’s very easy to become friends, but it’s also very easy for them to forget about you.

After a point, they tend to have a very different concept of friendship from Westerners.

Related Reads:

Cultural Differences Between China and The West Explained Through Comics

10 Types of People Unique to Modern Chinese Culture

The Role of Women in China: Past & Present

In Chinese culture “friendship” equals favors, “Friendship is I do something for you and you do something for me.” That is literally a quote from my former employer. This makes it so that “friendship” is measured in this way and it’s very awkward to say NO to a “friend”.

8. Moving to China Will Force You to Become a “Tech-Whiz”

Being the “world’s factory” for the last few decades has put China in a unique position technology-wise.

Many of the devices available in China now far outpace what’s available in the west. It’s enough to make even a technological erudite feel like a tech-wiz.

There are apps for anything, and any bill or purchase can be paid for with the tap of a screen. Which means the downside is that it becomes far too easy to spend money.

This has transformed my concept of saving money. Instead, China has made me constantly thinking of ways to earn money. Now I don’t have to worry about spending it.

9. Bureaucracy Killed the Radio Star

One issue you may run into when living abroad is that you’ll find some forms of entertainment may be closed to you. Such was the case for me with moving to China.

Prior to coming here one of my favorite activities was attending concerts. Europe has a good number of concerts and music festivals, and my friends and I would make a point to go to as many as we could.

In order to play a show in China, all foreign acts need to submit their set lists along with lyrics prior to being allowed to perform in the country. Some performers are outright banned for acts or statements that run contrary to the party line.

Local musicians are censored from the outset. So much that underground music scenes tend to rise and die out quickly in China.

There’s still enjoyment to be had, but most of that for me now derives from going out to eat and finding new restaurants to experience.

Read Next:

Living In China As a Foreigner: The Pros and Cons

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